I just want to clarify, not that anyone asked for it, but so everyone is crystal clear where I stand in regards to religion.
It’s not that I am anti-religion…I mean, I am…I am anti-religion, but it’s not that simple. I am very much…anti-stupid.
It doesn’t bother me if people feel “blessed” or post some image that says “Like if you love Jesus”. It may elicit an eyeroll from me, maybe even a slight chuckle. Overall, I really don’t care.
But as I said, I am anti-stupid.
So what I DO have a problem with is if people say that the Earth is 6,000 years old, or that we came from Adam and Eve, or that Evolution is a pack of lies, or that people lived alongside dinosaurs, or that Noah’s Ark is a true story and that a global flood actually happened, or that the Sun is not a star and that the moon is a light source.
Say or post STUPID stuff and I will have a problem with you…and I will make fun of you.
Or Happy Easter. Whichever you prefer.
So…a few weeks ago my six year old nephew presented me with a multiple choice question. “What is your favorite part of Easter?”
His first few options dealt with eggs…dyeing, hiding, finding. I don’t like eggs. I had a very bad experience with eggs a few years ago, getting very sick after eating an egg salad sandwich. I can’t stand the smell of eggs now.
Then he said “eating candy” and I immediately responded “eating candy!”, never giving him a chance to go over the other options. He then turned to his siblings and presented them with the same question. Only…after a few candy-related options and a few toy-related options he said “Or going to church?” Doh…church.
It was after I told my mother about it that she informed me that my nephew was signed up to attend Sunday School this fall. Fun.
So the following week, when he presented me with same question, I answered “Going to church.” But he didn’t believe me. He said “I thought you liked eating candy?” Damn that kid and his memory! So I said “I like eating candy in church.” He wasn’t buying it. It was like he wrote my original answer in cement.
Each week he asked me the question and each week he called me out for changing my original answer. By the week of Easter I caved. Fine, you win… “You’re right, I like eating candy.” He then said “Mommy and Daddy don’t like when you say that. They said Jesus is the most important thing and it’s important to learn about Jesus.” Though he then admitted that eating candy was also his favorite.
Look, he’s six year old. Most kids are going to say candy is their favorite. If you want a kid to think Jesus is the most important thing about Easter, maybe you you take him to church more than twice a year. Growing up we went to church more in a month than they go in a year…and we didn’t even think Jesus was the most important thing about Easter. Unless you’re sending your kid to Jesus Camp…candy is always going to beat Jesus.