Charlie…The Voice In My Head

skatty | jinunOriginal Writings & RantsCharlie…The Voice In My Head

Feb

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February 1 , 2017 | Posted by tlpinter |

Charlie…The Voice In My Head

(Note: For some reason I gave Charlie, the “voice in my head” his own About page on my old website and this was the result.)

I’ve tried to put it off doing a page about Charlie for as long as possible. I mean, how boring is that? AHEM A page like that could probably put you to sleep faster than shots of NyQuil. I’M RIGHT HERE. Trust me, I’ve known Charlie a looooong time and there’s really nothing interesting about him. I CAN *HEAR* YOU! Whoops. Sorry about that. YEAH, SURE YOU ARE. TROLL. Hey! Is that any way to talk to the person who is typing up your page for you? HMM…ACTUALLY IT IS. Alright, if that’s how you’re going to be, then I’m going to leave. PSSHT! LIKE I CARE. Fine! I’m going. WAIT! COME BACK. I NEED YOU TO TYPE FOR ME. What’s the magic word? NOW! Real nice. ALRIGHT NOW, SHUT UP AND LET ME DO *MY* PAGE. Thfffft! HELLO ALL. I’M CHARLIE (A.K.A. HIS ROYAL HOTNESS) Oh please. UNLIKE MY SILLY LITTLE HUMAN HOST OVER THERE, I’M ACTUALLY FUN TO BE AROUND. What?!?! I’M THE PERSON PEOPLE LIVE FOR. Seriously? SO WHAT’S SO SPECIAL ABOUT ME, YOU ASK? WELL, TO ANSWER THAT…I’M ME! You won us over with that one. YES. I KNOW THIS. Oh please. YEAH. WHATEVER. SHUT UP. NOW…LETS FIND OUT ALL ABOUT MOI. Oh yippee.

MY FAVORITE HORROR MOVIE IS: WIZARD OF OZ.

MY FAVORITE OLD TV SHOW IS: PUNKY BREWSTER.

FAVORITE OLD CARTOON IS: MY LITTLE PONY.

MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE TOY IS: RUB-A-DUB DOGGY.

MY FAVORITE CANDY IS: POP ROCKS.

MY FAVORITE OLD MOVIE IS: THE NEW ADVENTURES OF PIPPI LONGSTOCKING.

GREATEST SONG OF ALL TIME IS: BLAME IT ON THE RAIN BY  MILLI VANILLI.

COOLEST FASHION EVER WAS: JAM SHORTS, PARACHUTE PANTS, HYPERCOLOR, ACID-WASHED JEANS AND WEARING A PONY TAIL ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD.

MY HERO IS: PRINCE.

COOLEST PHRASE WAS: GAG ME WITH A SPOON.

FUNNIEST COMMERCIAL EVER WAS: WHERE’S THE BEEF? WENDY’S (STARRING CLARA PELLER). BECAUSE I GOT YOUR “BEEF” RIGHT HERE!

Gross. SILENCE!

FAVORITE ANIMAL IS: BANDICOOT .

MY FAVORITE NEW TV SHOW IS: YO GABBA GABBA!

You’re kidding. SHUT UP. ALL RIGHT…

FAVORITE NEW CARTOON IS: WOW! WOW! WUBBZY!

MY FAVORITE PASTIME IS: ANNOYING MY DEAR, SWEET, DORKY FRIEND, SKATTY.

Hey! SILENCE TROLL!

MY FAVORITE COLOR IS: PINK, CAUSE IT’S MANLY.

REAL MEN PLAY HOCKEY, SOCCER AND FOOTBALL. LITTLE PUSSIES GO HUNTING. AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE…6’2″, 195 LBS. OF PURE MUSCLE, SANDY BLONDE HAIR, GREEN EYES, DEVILISHY HANDSOME. Oh my god, you’re kidding. WHAT? None of this is true. SURE IT IS. No it’s not. You’re two inches tall. AM NOT! With grey skin. NUH UH!!! And pointy ears and big red eyes. WHAT?!?!? ME!?!?! SURELY YOU JEST. Pure muscle? UH HUH. I’M BUFF. SEE… *FLEXES* And you’re bald! I AM NOT! This page was a complete waste of time. AWWW, NO IT WASN’T, CAUSE IT WAS ABOUT ME!!!