I was raised Catholic.
My mother, born and raised Catholic, even went to Catholic School. My father was a Methodist and although his parents were religious, he was not. So my mother thought she needed to try extra-hard to raise my siblings and I properly…religiously.
Eight years of Sunday School. Eighteen years of going to church every week, every holiday, every Holy Day of Obligation, we did Good Friday, Holy Thursday, Ash Wednesday, Stations of the Cross and Confession…basically, if our church held mass, we were there.
And from an early age, I called BS on it all. I just couldn’t buy into all the ridiculous stories and “miracles” we were being taught. I distinctly remember sitting in my Sunday School class doodling in my workbook and staring out the window, wishing I was someplace else.
(What can I say? I’m a skeptic. Always have been. Hell, when I was 7 years old I started “investigating” the existence of Santa, noting in my diary that my mother used the same wrapping paper that Santa did the year before. I even stayed up to catch my mother in the act of being “Santa”.)
I just found all of it a bit hard to swallow. Burning bushes. Rising from the dead. Walking on water. Talking donkeys. Parting of the Red Sea. Fish and bread multiplying. Wine into water. Curing blindness. And leprosy. Reattaching severed ears. Wandering in the desert for 40 years. I found it all ridiculous.
Or downright gross. If we all came from Adam and Eve. Incest. And if Noah’s Flood wiped out EVERY human other than Noah’s sons and daughters-in law. Also incest.
And that was the story that made me a non-believer…Noah’s Ark.
A boat 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high was able to hold “two of every sort” (according to Genesis 6:19–20) or “seven pairs” (according to Genesis 7:2–3) of EVERY animal…including penguins, polar bears, kangaroos, coyotes (and dinosaurs if you believe Young Earth Creationists!). And over a year’s worth of food and supplies because the flood lasted for 370 days. All the animals being taken care of by a 600 year old man and his family. And the carnivores didn’t eat the other animals? Seriously?
We can even ignore the fact that there is absolutely NO scientific evidence of a global flood.
The bible states that the “waters rose and covered the mountains to a depth of more than twenty feet.” Which means the earth was covered in water nearly 5 1/2 miles deep. Where did all this water come from? And where did it all go? Oh, God made it and then took it all away? Convenient. Plus, the mixture of salt and fresh water from the various pure water sources would have killed all known marine life. Period. Also, many of the plant species would not have been able to survive the year long submersion in water, especially if the flood introduced them to the new saline mixture. Yet…we still have marine life and plant life. Oh, what…God gave the marine life and plant life special abilities to survive? How convenient…yet again.
It is said that Noah’s Flood happened in 2348 BC. During this time civilizations in China, Egypt, Babylon, and Mesopotamia flourished…without a single mention of a flood. Egypt was at the end of it’s Fifth Dynasty, entering it’s Sixth Dynasty. The Great Pyramid of Giza was built in the Fourth Dynasty, nearly 200 years BEFORE Noah’s Flood…and there’s no evidence that it was once underneath five miles of water.
Getting back to the incest thing. The flood killed all human life except for Noah, his sons and their wives. Eight people. Yet we somehow got all these different races and cultures today. So from these eight people we got Africans, Asians, Europeans, Native Americans, Indians, Aborigines, Eskimos and so forth? Really?
We see today, people (or the church) changing the story to help smooth over the wrinkles. It wasn’t a global flood, it was a local one. He didn’t gather two of EVERY species, just the local animals. We see this time and time again…conveniently changing the narrative to keep people in the fold. Oh, there’s a lot of scientific proof of evolution? That’s okay, says the Catholic Church, evolution is real…just as long as you believe God had a hand in it. Please.