(Note: I wrote this rant many years ago after listening to two co-workers brag about hunting and how much fun it was to kill animals because they knew it would bother me.)
Hunting is for insecure, pathetic, obdurate assholes. Those of you that call hunting a sport need to stop by my house and take part in a new “sport” I have come up with, it’s called “Hit the Callous Bastard Hunter Upside the Head with a 2×4.” Like hunting, it’s fun for the player and painful for the victim.
As you may have guessed…I’m against hunting. If you are not a hunter, keep reading…you get to watch me hunter-bash. And if you are a hunter, keep reading…I intend to insult you.
First of all…hunting is in no way, shape or form a “sport”. Hockey is a sport. Football is a sport. Soccer, boxing, baseball, etc….those are sports. Heck, even golf is a sport. Sports in which both participants are given equal opportunity to “beat” the other one. So the day a deer or bear or duck can clutch a shotgun and shoot your stupid ass…that is the day you are allowed to call hunting a sport. Hunting is one of the most primeval, horrid, vicious acts still practiced today. While hunting was necessary for human survival long ago, this is no longer the case. Need food? Hit your local supermarket or butcher shop. So don’t even TRY to use that “I hunt for food.” BULLSHIT excuse with me because I’ll just pick up that 2×4 I have handy for my new game and smack some sense into you.
“I take my kids out hunting as a bonding experience.” Take your kid to a movie, to the park, or go play a real “sport” with them, you pansy ass. “I go out hunting with my friends as sort of camaraderie.” Play cards, watch a real “sport” on television, or do something productive like building something. “Hunting is needed to keep animal populations under control.” Is there not more humane ways to do this? Honestly, don’t even try to present me with an excuse as to why hunting is okay because I’ll just shoot it down. So don’t waste your breath and my time.
Who are we to play God? Who are we to decide who lives and dies? Every time your bitch ass picks up a gun or a bow and you point it at a defenseless animal, you take on the role of God. What does hunting do for you? Think it makes you more of a man? Does it make you feel stronger? Tougher? Smarter? More powerful? To take a life which is not yours to take. Lets see you go into a fight without the support of your trusty bow or gun and how tough will you be then? Fight a bear or a deer with your bare hands, sissy boy. You’ll be so scared that piss will stream down your leg.
I find it funny how us humans try to portray ourselves as higher beings…more moral, more valuable, more intelligent than other living things. Please. Have you seen some of the idiots on television? What an embarrassment to the human race. Not that being human is anything to be proud of. What have we accomplished? Ooo…space flight, technology, how about….air pollution, water pollution, slavery, genocide, a big ass hole in the ozone? Think we’re doing nature a favor by limiting animal populations? Animals should do the world a favor and eliminate humans.
Hey genius, did you know that these animals you have been shooting for years feel pain and experience fear? Do you care? How about I go hunt down your mother, your brother or your own child. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? How about I mount their butt ugly face up above the mantle? Bet it’d go nice with the drapes. Bet it’d be painful as that bullet rips through their flesh and they bleed to death. I bet it’d be fun to see the fear in their eyes as they die. Oh, and since they do have the ability to speak, they may actually try to say something as they gargle blood…probably something about how much pain they are in and how they don’t want to die. Something animals are unable to do. But I would imagine that animals would say the same thing if they had that ability. Think there’s a difference between you killing an animal and someone killing your family members? There’s not. They’re both a cruel, barbaric acts carried out by apathetic, coldhearted murderers. I hope both go to hell for it too.
“There will come a day when such men as myself will view the slaughter of innocent creatures as horrible a crime as the murder of his fellow man—Our task must to be free ourselves—by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.